Please love your pets because their lives are short and they’ve seen you naked or having sex or masturbating or all three and they still love you.
"if feminists want equality does this mean we can punch women now?"
go ahead chicken shit punch me in the fucking face. i will shove your entire upper body into your own ass and make you fuck yourself from the inside out
*looks at you seductively* *lowers glasses* i can’t see a thing
I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir